Pip glanced at his black-clad master as Mr. Garison blathered away on the metric system, something Pip knew already, being British, and was only half-listening. It was clear that Damien was bored. And when he was bored he got annoyed, and when he was annoyed, he got angry. And when he got angry, he set things on fire and got in trouble.
Pip decided to interviene before it got to that point.
The anti-christ turned to his consort, already starting to get annoyed "What is it?"
Pip cleared his throat softly, "I wanted to tell you a...dirty religious joke I heard last night, since Mr. Garison's lecture isn't that interesting today."
Damien decided anything was better than listening to the teacher drone. And the idea that Pip knew a dirty RELIGIOUS joke peaked his interest. He nodded, "Go on."
Pip cleared his throat "Alright then...." he inhaled deeply.
"Three couples want to join a church: the long married George and Annie Bean, the newlywed James and Ashly Sanchez, and the yet-unwed (by law) Chase Marks and Dana Humphries. They all talk to the pastor of the church to see what must be done to join.
He says, "You must go without sex for three weeks." Each couple agrees."
Here he paused, as Cartman looked over at them, "What are you fags whispering about?"
Damien glared "None of your business fat-ass." He turned to Pip, "Ignore him, tell me the rest of the joke."
Pip nodded and continued
"well, three weeks later, all the couples return. The pastor says to the Beans, "How did you do?"
"Oh, Father," they reply, "we did fine. We've been married for twenty years! We're used to going without sex."
"Very good," says the father. "Welcome to my church." He then asks the Sanchez's how they did.
"It was kind of hard, Father." said James "We've gone up to two weeks without it, but never three... Somehow, we managed, though." He said proudly.
"Good, welcome to my church," says the preist. He finally turns to the third couple."Well? How did you do?"
"Well," Chase, answered, "we were doing fine up until this morning. We were at breakfast, and Dana bent over to pick up her napkin, and I just couldn't help but take her right there on the table."
"I'm sorry," says the pastor, looking disapointed. " But You are no longer allowed in my church."
"Oh, that's okay," Dana chirped, smiling brightly. "We're not allowed at that restaurant anymore, either!"
Damien turned back around in his desk, clenching his hands into fists and closing his eyes as he faught the urge to burst out laughing in the middle of class. Nevertheless, he DID let out some VERY loud snickers.
Pip gave a pleased smile as his master tried to conceal his laughter. Damien was looking much better now...